Oct 5, 2009

Questions About Women In Islam (Marriage)

Is a Muslim woman allowed to choose her husband herself?

Islam gives woman the right to choose her own husband. Without her consent no marriage can take place; and should thus take place, such marriage is invalid. Narrated Abu Huraira: Prophet Muhammad said, "A matron should not be given in marriage except after consulting her; and a virgin should not be given in marriage except after her permission." The people asked, "O Allah's Apostle! How can we know her permission (Because a virgin feels shy)?" He said, "Her silence (indicates her permission)." Sahih Bukhari

How are we to understand the permission for polygamy in Islam?

Technically, Islam allows men to marry four women; however, there are certain conditions to be met. This is best understood from the following verse in Qur'an: "And if you have reason to fear that you might not act equitably towards orphans; then marry from among [other] women such as are lawful to you -- [even] two, three, or four; but if you have reason to fear that you might not be able to treat them with equal fairness, then [only] one -- or [from among] those whom you righfully possess." (Chapter of Women, Verse 3)

The requirement of justice and identical treatment is therefor a condition closely tied up with polygamy. This, however, largely depends upon the personality of the man and the woman. It is possible for a man to grant a widow or a divorcee honourable maintenance by marrying her as a second wife. Moreover, from a woman's point of view a polygamous marriage, in which each wife has equal rights, is a choice preferable to that of a mistress who has no rights.

Islam did not outlaw polygamy, as did many other peoples and religious communities; rather, it regulated and restricted it. It is neither required nor encouraged, but simply permitted and did not outlaw. The only passage in the Qur'an (4:3) that explicitly addresses polygamy and restricts its practice, in terms of the number of wives permitted and the requirement of justice between them, was revealed after the Battle of Uhud, in which dozens of Muslims were martyred, leaving behind widows and orphans. This seems to indicate that the intent of its continued permissibility , at least in part, is to deal with individual and collective contingencies that may arise from time to time (e.g, imbalances between the number of males and females, created by war). This provides a moral, practical and humane solution to the problems of widows and orphans, who would otherwise surely be more vulnerable in the absence of a husband.

Does a woman have an option to face polygamy?

Absolutely, a prospective first wife may include in her marital contract a condition that her prospective husband shall practice monogamy. If this condition is mutually accepted, it becomes binding on the husband. Should he later violate this condition, his first wife will be entitled to seek divorce with all the financial rights connected with it. If such a condition was not included in the marital contract, and if the husband marries a second wife, the first wife may seek khul' (divestiture).

Is a Muslim man allowed to beat his wife?

This subject is burdened with a lot of prejudice. This question arise from the verse in the Qur'an which reads as follows: ".. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (And last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance): For Allah is Most High, great (above you all)." (Women Chapter, Verse 34). This verse makes it clear that the husband is required to apply three steps in any case: Admonition, Separation in bed, and only thirdly Beating. This means that beating in the heat of the moment is specifically forbidden. In the second place, according to the Muslim scholars, "beating" has more of a symbolic connotation rather than the meaning of physical injury or hurt. Prophet Muhammad did express quite clearly his misgivings about beating a woman by saying: "Is it really possible for you to beat your wife as if she were a servant and then go to her at night?" He himself never beat a woman and he is the best example for Muslims.

What did prophet Muhammad said about treating women as wives?

In his "farewell pilgrimage" address, he said in his famous "Farewell Sermon", that is really appreciated by all Muslims; "O People! It is true that you have certain rights in regard to your women, but they also have rights over you. Remember that you have taken them as your wives, only under Allah's trust and with His permission. If they abide by your right then to them belongs the right to be fed and clothed in kindness. Do treat you women well and be kind to them, for they are your partners and committed helpers. And it is your right that they do not make friends with anyone of whom you do not approve, as well as never to be unchaste."

-WOMAN IN ISLAM, by Discover Islam Center, Kingdom of Bahrain.
-GENDER EQUITY IN ISLAM (BASIC PRINCIPLES), by Jamal Badawi, Ph.D., American Trust Publications


Mohamed said...

Commenting on this post will be restricted only on the subject of the post. All unrelated comments will be deleted.

[Personal messages can be sent through the e-mail, muslimboy07@gmail.com]

Mohamed said...

Following posts will be about Muslim woman as a mother and member of the family. Her rights to inherit, possess, work, educate and more other subjects.

Stay tuned..


Mohamed - An Excellent Post!

There seems to be quite a bit of difference between the teachings of the Persian and Arab; much more on these cultural attitudes will be greatly appreciated.

Would you explain the differences between Nikah and Mutah, with those Quranic Chapter & Verse Numbers?


Your Link Will, Of Course, Remain On Our Website;

We do hope you will receive some quality commentators, along with just the idle curious.


Mohamed said...

Mr. reb,

Congratulation! You got it. It's the differences between Shia and Sunni teachings.

Nikah in general is the normal accepted marriage in all societies, it's the marriage for life, that the two parties of it intend to make it permanently. Such kind of marriage is accepted by both Sunni and Shia schools.

About Mut'ah, it's the temporary marriage that the two parties specify a period for it when contracting. The period maybe a set of years, months, and maybe only one hour. Such kind of marriage is forbidden by the four main Sunni scholars, and one of the Shia schools (Zidi). However, other Shia schools permit it.


I always welcome all commentators, from all cultural backgrounds, with all their different intentions.

Anonymous said...


Thanks for the post, it is very informative. People in the West often cite women's rights issues as being a major problem with Islam, so it is important that you explain these issues.



Mohamed - Oh yes, I "get it", and I hope to congratulate you, after...
you carefully evaluate our post on 'Ayatollah Exposed' (Oct 1st), then explain (on S/H blog) the sick references to the Grand Ayatollah Khomeini's Teachings on how muslims are permitted to abuse female babies.

If this satanic doctrine is deemed acceptable to most muslim cultures (?) and not strongly opposed, how can the rest of the civilized world ever Trust Iran, when they are hell-bent to bring back the mythical 'Madhi Prophet' (after a nuke war) to pursue a 1000 years of Peace, under inflexible Shari'a Law?

The small voices of "moderation" within the Islamic Culture should be encouraged whenever found, but realistically, they have little impact on the aggressive motivations and behavior of today's Iranian Leadership.

So, the weak U.N. diplomats do nothing; the largely brave but illiterate fighters of the Taliban take their orders from al-Queda...

and Mohamed & Snake Hunter engage in interesting heated polemics, as an inexperienced U.S. President remains transparently indecisive.


Anonymous said...


"...you carefully evaluate our post on 'Ayatollah Exposed' (Oct 1st), then explain (on S/H blog) the sick references to the Grand Ayatollah Khomeini's Teachings on how muslims are permitted to abuse female babies."

Where do you get this horrible rubbish from?
Don't you ever get tired being so negative?
Is everyone where you live as miserable?
You remind me of a peasant from the dark ages talking about strangers from the next village.


Mohamed said...

Mr. reb,

I notified that all comments on this post must be related to its subject, Women In Islam. (Read first comment) You must respect my regulations.

About your comment on October 6, 2009 6:15 PM. I can't understand what you exactly want from me..

You requested at the first to: .. carefully evaluate our post .., then you said later: .. then EXPLAIN (on S/H blog) the SICK references to the Grand ... (!!)

Your words are so contradicting. You are asking me to judge your post, then you're telling me the judgement that I have to conclude, "then EXPLAIN THE SICK REFERENCES". It's so unfair and against freedom of opinions!

Anyway, I've read that post quickly, I wonder where you collect that amount of information about Shi'a beliefs from. Do you have a book that talk about that, or you have visited many websites to collect them?!! I guess it took you hours of searching through the web.

You ask me to evaluate another belief? Is that what you really want me to do? I think that I might not be so helpful for you. All what I can tell you is that; Shi'a have different beliefs than Sunni beliefs. Some in the core of the main beliefs, and some in unessential things.

To know more than about these differences you can consult an expert in Shi'a beliefs. I'm not that one. But if you want to know more about Sunni beliefs, I may be of some help. I studied Marriage, Divorce and Inheritance rules according to Islamic Shari'a. I'll be pleased to answer any of your questions about these subjects.


Mohamed said...


Always, thanks for your following to my blog.

Unfortunately, there are many issues concerning Islamic religion that are widely misunderstood in the West. One of these issues is Women Rights.

I think that the major reasons for that misunderstanding are;

*The wrong regional traditions that are claimed to be of Islam, however Islam itself denounces and fights against it.

*The misunderstanding of some Muslims of some texts, that lead to the misrepresenting of Islamic beliefs concerning Women Rights.

*The defame of some Western Media channels being practiced against Muslims.




It is said here, that a Muslim woman is allowed to choose her husband, rather than being "given" by her father.

I did not know that.

At what age is she allowed to make the choice for herself?


Mohamed said...

Mr. reb,

I did not understand exactly your question. Would you please clarify what you mean?

no_slappz said...

As long as the rights of women are less than the rights of men in muslim nations, then Islam is the oppressor.

Mohamed, why are muslim men so afraid of women?